Success vs. Joy

- XXXII -

The Virtue of Selfishness

Take the case of ‘organization men,’ perhaps an executive who heads a department in a large company. He is constantly preoccupied, running around to get things done, developing managerial systems, working out strategies, analyzing difficult situations, and solving problems.

The same go-getting corporate executive may have a host of problems to deal with at home – his wife may be ill and his daughter may be stressed before an examination. Yet, curiously, the executive is oblivious to the problems at home while he is busy creating efficient systems at work that give him joy. Is he really the great human being that his bosses make him out to be? Or is he an insensitive husband and father?

The joy seeker has to believe in the virtue of selfishness. You want your wife, your children, your partners, and your associates to understand you. You want their empathy. If you are genuinely passionate about what you are doing, the chances are they will not only understand, but also support you. When your enthusiasm for your work is apparent and visible to all, they will allow you to express this passion. In management jargon it’s called a win-win situation.

Deriving joy from what you do actually renews your energy to be able to deal with the issues at home. And this positive reinforcement is mutual. Joy with the family also leads to a greater commitment to joy at work.

People who are driven by joy must find support from their partners.

On your part, you may have to forego everything except your passion and your family. There is no room for a third.

Chapter XXXI :: Chapter XXXIII