Success vs. Joy
- XXV -
Success Corrupts
Billiards has taught me how to retain my mental equilibrium under a variety of conditions. When luck is not on my side, when I am playing badly and trailing, when I am playing well and leading, when I am winning everything and when I am losing all the time. And somehow I feel the ability to retain that mental equanimity is reinforced when one plays and lives for the sweet spot rather than the money and fame and power.
My weakest moments, those situations when I lost my nerve, were at times when greed took over my entire being and I started playing for success, rewards, and trophies.
Winning a world title naturally enhanced my confidence. But together with confidence came many other changes. One important change that comes with success is a loss of anonymity.
Being anonymous, in a sense, ensures that you continue to experience happiness and joy from pursuing a particular kind of activity. Since nobody knows you, you are quite happy doing what you are doing for the sheer pleasure it provides – for that moment of joy or sweet spot. Alone on a desert island, you are least concerned about what society thinks or about beating your competitor.
But the moment you achieve a measure of social success, you become sucked into a vortex of expectations. Your mother will inevitably be proud of your achievements; your relatives will want to place you on a pedestal; your neighbors, your manager, the public and so on – everyone would like to carry you on their shoulders. What happens next? Your attention is diverted, your time is misspent, and you are not mature enough to handle all the attention you are getting. This is
one way in which society first sucks you in, and then devours the so-called successful.