Success vs. Joy

- LXXVII -

You Must Stomach Defeat

There are those who cannot stomach defeat; they get demoralized easily. There’s a wonderful kid from Ahmedabad who took to billiards after he saw me play. He was so obsessed with the sport that he dropped out of school when he was in the tenth class so that he could concentrate on improving his game. He fell madly in love with the game and would spend 10 hours a day working on his technique. There was a time when I got highly inspired just watching the intensity of his spirit.

This kid was a natural and picked up the nuances of the game quickly. Everyone predicted he was destined to become a world champion. But he had an attitudinal problem. He just could not cope with the fact that he could lose.

He had been placed on a pedestal not only by his friends but also by his family. When those close to you start believing that you are special, you start thinking that you are ‘the chosen one’. That is mental suicide. This happened in his case and he just collapsed under the weight of his own and his family’s expectations.

In his very first year on the professional snooker circuit, he reached a creditable 160th in the official world rankings. His second year turned out to be disastrous. He lost his first match and thought about giving up playing. He was an incredibly talented player but just did not know how to persevere and focus his mind on the game and not the results. Each time he played, he wanted to win. It is fine to be ambitious. But his problem was his inability to accept the fact that he could also lose.

I knew him well and had interacted extensively with his family. I realize now that his parents would tell him that he was the greatest player ever, when he had not even won a national title. He would compare himself with me. Comparing yourself with any other person can be suicidal.

This congenial boy can still play better than most professionals, even though he stopped competing eight years ago. But he started to believe what his parents and others told him. He thought he would become numero uno.

And when he fell at that first hurdle (his second year on the professional circuit), his dreams and expectations were shattered and he gave up playing.

If you want social status through a game, you will certainly be disappointed. The world does not really care whether you lose or win. You play for yourself and the joy the game gives you. Nothing else.

Chapter LXXVI :: Chapter LXXVIII